The New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show
by Chibi Teazer
Summary: This was written especially for that lovely person who sent me that lovely email. It took me 5 hrs so pllllzzzzzzz review!!!! Contains every character 'cept Admetus as no one actually knows who he is he he he


Here is the second part of my Chibi Teazer talk show, written for that nice person who mailed me. I spent the whole day after I got that mail writing this!! So you know how lucky you are!!  
  
CT – I have had an e-mail, from a very pleasant person…  
  
Cori – She forgot her name… again…  
  
CT – Yeah.. well!  
  
Cori – Well what? Get on with it!  
  
CT – And she asked me to write another CT show!!! So guess what!!! Here I am!!! With part two!!!  
  
DISC: This all belongs to me! MWA HA HA HA!! AND I'M NOT GIVING IT TO ANYONE!!!! But really, TSE that old RUG and ALW own all the characters except of course myself.  
  
  
  
THE NEW AND IMPROVED CHIBI TEAZER SHOW!!!!  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen. Cut to a large lounge room with a large audience that couldn't possibly fit in a lounge room the size of Ayers rock.)  
  
CT – Hello! Welcome to my new show! Now, as people liked my first episode so much the (smiling dazzlingly) Jellicle Station has given me my own set (Points to a huge sign above her saying CHIBI TEAZER!!!) and I've also got nice new seats! Yay!  
  
Cori – Get on with it!  
  
CT - *cough* Seeing as the AUDIENCE (Looking directly at a male psychic twin) have started to get rowdy, I shall bring out my first guest! Our first guest is one of the least known toms of the junkyard! He is one of the handsome ones however and toms and queens alike love him. It's gotta be for those gorgeous hips though doesn't it!  
  
Cori – (Clicking claws?) Look, would you snap out of it!  
  
CT – Oh, yeah… sorry! (Smiles at audience.) So heeeeerrrrre he is!!! It's Plato!  
  
(Audience clap maniacally)  
  
Plato – (Enters through a door behind the lounge suite and gives CT a kiss on the cheek, before sitting down on one of the couches.)  
  
Cori – (Looking at the above sentence) You are so desperate.  
  
CT – What?!?!?! (Looks at a blank looking audience) Oh… aha! Plato, It has been said many times that you always disappear when Macavity appears. Can you tell me what that's all about?  
  
Plato – Certainly! That's really quite an easy one to answer, because you see, whenever Demi yells out 'Macavity' my gal (Notices the confused look on CT's face), oh er… well, you see, I've been going out with *cough*….  
  
CT – Sorry? (teeth gritted) I didn't' quite catch that!  
  
Cori – Oh for *beeps* sake! He said that he was going out with *beep*. Hey why was I 'beeped' when I said *beeeeep*  
  
Jenny – (From the sound box) We can not reveal the name on air! She'll be in real trouble if we did that!  
  
CT – Oh… damn. Anyway, you were saying?  
  
Plato – You see *beeeeep*… oh for *beeeep's* sake! Fine! When my gal hears Demi yelling 'Macavity' she gets really scared and makes me go out and buy her potato wedges from Bob, the corner shop owner.  
  
CT – Bob? Wedges?  
  
Plato – They make her feel calm for some reason.  
  
CT – Uh huh.  
  
Plato – Demeter is rather scary sometimes.  
  
Demeter – (Standing up in the full audience) I beg your pardon?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?  
  
Plato – What? You are! The way you are constantly yelling out Mac's name and scaring the living (thinks for a second) and unliving daylights out of the rest of us!  
  
Demi – At least you get a warning when he's around!  
  
Plato – (Under breath) And when Mungo and Rumple are about to appear.  
  
Demi – I heard that!!!!  
  
Plato – So?  
  
(Demeter is now on the stage full-on arguing with Plato.)  
  
CT – And here is my chance to use the new things that (Smiling dazzlingly) the Jellicle station gave me! Umoja! (A pack of large men and toms come forwards and break apart the fight.) But now! Onto an add break!  
  
(Mungo and Rumple are seen behind a desk with books and two schoolbags. Rumple has her fur tied up in what looks like a crude attempt at piggy tails. They seem to be fighting over a pencil. When they notice the camera on them however they stop.)  
  
Rumple – Hoi ya! How's ya goin?  
  
Mungo – We was enroll'd in Jen's laidies and Gentalmans collidge and look a' us naow! We are all prissay an' quain'!  
  
Rumple – Look! 'ere cums Ms. Dots!  
  
(Enter Jenny)  
  
Jenny – Hello! My name is Ms. Jenny Any Dots! I am the teacher at this school! And though I can not correct grammar and accents (looks over to M+R and shudders a bit) I can teach your kits how to be scholars! Enrol in my school today! (Gives a dazzling smile, sits on a chair and tries to ignore the fact that a rubber was sling-shotted at her rear and that she just sat down on black paint.)  
  
*CUT BACK TO STUDIO*  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen.)  
  
CT – Welcome back! Well, thank goodness that that little fight was broken up! Phew. Our next guest has been on this show before, but has shown the need to come back.  
  
Audience member 1 – Maybe it's Mungo and Rumple  
  
Audience member 2 – Nu uh. They are at school remember  
  
CT – Well, as usual my audience are wrong. It is in fact the hunk of everyone's dreams!  
  
Audience – TUGGER!!!! SQUEEEEEE~~~~~!!!  
  
CT – Correct! Now, Tugger has had a problem with his girlfriend.  
  
Audience – OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHH  
  
CT – Now if you remember Tugger was going out with Bombi, but she dumped him for Misto and then he went out with Etcy. But we have a slight problem with Etcy. Shall we bring out Tugger?  
  
Audience – YESSS!!!  
  
(Tugger comes out through the door behind the sofa suite. And sits in one of the large seats)  
  
Tugger – Yo!  
  
CT – Yo?  
  
Tugger – Yo!  
  
CT – Yo?  
  
Tugger – Yo!  
  
CT – Yo?  
  
Tugger – Yo!  
  
CT – Yo?  
  
Tugger – Yo!  
  
CT – Yo?  
  
Tugger – Yo!  
  
CT – Yo?  
  
Tugger – Yo!  
  
CT – Huh? Oh forget it! Now! We wanna know what's the matter with your love life!  
  
Audience – YEAH!!! YEAH!!! YEAH!!!  
  
Tugger – Well, frankly you gotta have a look at Etccy to see what the problem is.  
  
CT – Is she hypo?  
  
Tugger – Hell no! It's exactly the opposite!  
  
Jenny – Oh cripes! I forgot to beep him!  
  
CT – Eh?  
  
Tugger – She's like a nutter or something!  
  
CT – Nutter? How? (Genuine confusement is on CT's face.)  
  
Tugger – Oh for goodness sake! Bring her out and you'll see what I mean!!!  
  
CT – Let's bring out Etccy!  
  
Audience – YEAH YEAH YEAH!!!  
  
(Etccy….. did I spell that right? Well tough she's Etccy. Anyway, Etccy enters through that back door. She is no longer the hyperactive kit of the past. She now has black lipstick, piercings everywhere, all sort of black makeup, fur died… you guessed it… black, black collar and is very slow in speaking and movement.)  
  
CT – What the hell? When did you turn goth?  
  
Etccy – Being with Tugger for so long made me realise that I no longer needed him so now I'm going to be my own queen.  
  
CT - *cough* Er… so Tugger? How do you feel about this?  
  
Tugger – I'm fine, being with her (pointing to Etccy) for so long in the state she is in has made me think twice about girls!  
  
CT – 'Scuse me? Are you saying what I think you're saying?  
  
Tugger – Depends what you're thinking.  
  
CT – (Facing camera) At this point in time, it might be a good time to remove all young kitties from their place in front of the TV. We're going to go to a commercial break and hopefully by that time all children and kits will have been removed!  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen)  
  
(A blank screen is seen. Completely blank, nothing happening.)  
  
Asparagus – Oh *beeeep* Jen! We need a comercial!  
  
Jenny – Oh right!  
  
(Misto is pushed onstage.)  
  
Misto – (Waves) Uhm… hello! Er… do you know what? I have a new pen pal! Um. Her name is Christabel and she is from France. She is very nice, and uhm… you can have a pen pal to! Just go to this site:  
  
www.geocities.com/chibi_teazer/ and you can find a pen pal (A/N This is not true but you can visit my site, there is stuff on that page worth visiting! For exampl:….. ) (Cori – You don't have time to do that CT!!!) (Oh… sorry! Please visit but! And sign guestbook! BTW Thanx to everyone, most of which probably will glance at this fic and think 'aww damn not again' but thanx again ppls!)  
  
Misto – Ahem? Are you nearly finished? Like I said, Pen Pals! Join the pen pal mailing list and meet heaps of CATS and kitties from around the globe!  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen)  
  
CT – Welcome back! I have just taken Tugger outside for a little chat with a councillor and he'll be back later.  
  
Audience – Awwww!!!  
  
CT – I want to have a talk to Etcetera!  
  
Audience – Ahhhhh!!!  
  
CT – So Etccy? What made you turn goth anyway? Apart from Tugger of course.  
  
Etccy – Well, one reason would be Jemima.  
  
CT – Jemima?  
  
Etccy – Yes, she took my place as the hyperactive kitty so I had to do something to become the 'new' Etccy.  
  
CT – Woah… you're not kidding about Jemi are you?  
  
Etccy - *sigh* I wish I was.  
  
CT – Well, here she is! (Jemi enters through that good 'ol back door)  
  
Jemi – Hee hee!! Hello!! (Jemi starts bouncing around happily and is so hypo we nearly have to wipe her off the walls)  
  
CT – Oh god….. I think we should abandon this story please! Umoja! Please get rid of them!  
  
(Jemima is removed from the room and Etccy leaves willingly.)  
  
Arparagus – (Appears from…. Somewhere) And now for our guest appearance!!  
  
CT – Huh? What are you talking about! (Notices a furry red puppet.) Oh *beep* you have got to be kidding me.  
  
Elmo – Hallo!  
  
CT – Get rid of the puppet!!!!! I mean it! Get rid of the puppet!!!!!  
  
(Puppet is removed)  
  
CT – Here is our next puppet… uh… I mean guest. Bustopher Jones!  
  
(He walks out of the door)  
  
Bustopher – Hello, how are you today madam? (Kisses CT on the hand 'gentiley') (Cori – What is with you today and toms kissing you?) (I've got a sad love life okay!)  
  
CT – So what are we here to tell people about today Bustopher?  
  
Bustopher – Well, recently I visited a wonderful establishment called Jenny Craig. And I've lost 15 pounds already!  
  
CT – Wow! You are looking terrific Bustopher!  
  
Bustopher – Thankyou dear!  
  
CT – And you are here to show us your new dance routine?  
  
Bustopher – Definitely!  
  
(Bustopher stands up and begins with a Saturday Night Fever pose, and continues by doing a break dancing routine.)  
  
CT – (mouth open W-I-D-E) WOW!! THAT WAS INCREDIBLE!!  
  
Audience Member – Hello? Uhm, my name is Audience Member and I am a manager, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a little while?  
  
(Bustopher is led offstage)  
  
CT – Well! That was an incredible one wasn't it? We've still got three guests though! Our first of these final three is Rumpy! (Stage hand comes on and whispers something in CT ear, CT colours) Erm… I mean Rumpus Cat. (Starts a clap session going.  
  
(Rumpus cat jumps on the set)  
  
CT – Now, we have a confession from you don't we?  
  
RC – Yes, I have a frightening confession for you.  
  
CT – Well go on then.  
  
RC – I erm…. *mumbles*  
  
CT – Come again?  
  
RC – I am sorta… afraid… *mumble*  
  
CT – Eh?  
  
RC – (yelling) I'M AFRAID OF THE DARK OKAY?? IS THAT SO HARD TO UNDERSTAND!?!??!??!??!  
  
CT- No! Not in the least. (Now worried for you have all heard the story of the peke's and the pollicles right?) Commercial break! (CT 'eeps')  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen)  
  
(We see Macavity sitting in a comfy chair with glasses on and his fingers pressed together tightly.)  
  
Macavity – Now, I suppose you're wondering what I am doing on this show?  
  
Rumple – Damn stroight!  
  
Mungo – To roight maite! (Oh… crap… there's my Aussie showing through… sorry ppls…)  
  
Macavity – Well, I am here to advertise the newest book written by me. (He holds up a copy of his book, the title being: Macavity's Hair Care Book)  
  
Rumple – Are ya troiyin' ta kid us Maccy?  
  
Macavity – No dear sister, I am not.  
  
CT – Woah! Hold on here, did you just say sister??  
  
Macavity – That I did.  
  
CT – This is getting to scary. Macavity finish your book advertising and go away.  
  
Macavity – (Ripping of glasses) Why are you always so mean to me!!!  
  
CT – Cause you're the evil cat.  
  
Macavity – That doesn't mean that I don't have feelings to you know!!!  
  
CT – Oh bloody hell……  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen)  
  
CT – Here is my second last guest. She has lost heaps of weight, looks like a barbie-kitty and wants to be just like Britney Spears! Who is she I hear you ask? Well, she is here right now!!  
  
(Enter Tantomile by psychic appearance of some sort)  
  
Tanti – Hey!  
  
CT – (Mouth hitting the floor) Huh?  
  
Tanti – Hey! It's me!  
  
CT – Yes, so I can see. Now… uh… you were here to tell us who exactly you want to be like?  
  
Tanti – I want to be the kitty version of Britney!  
  
CT – Oh *sigh*. This is all we need.  
  
Tanti – I can dance and sing just as well, if not better than her!  
  
CT – And I bet you want to show all those (smiles dazzlingly) Jellicle's out there right?  
  
Tanti – Correct! Wow you are so smart!  
  
Cori – Do not flatter her darling! It will make her do this again!  
  
Tanti – Are you jealous?  
  
Cori – Of what?  
  
Tanti – OOH! You are so mean to me!!! AIIIIIII!!!  
  
Cori – I'm not mean at all!  
  
Tanti – Are so!  
  
Cori – Am not!  
  
Tanti – Are so!  
  
Cori – Am not!  
  
Tanti – Are so!  
  
Cori – Am not!  
  
Tanti – Are so!  
  
Cori – Am not!  
  
Tanti – Are so!  
  
Cori – Am not!  
  
Jenny – Dears, it is I am not and I am not! Not are so am not! Good gracious!  
  
Cori+Tanti – Sorry.  
  
CT – Maybe it's about time to hear your singing Tant! (Worried)  
  
Tanti – Good idea!  
  
(Tanti begins to sing and do very Britney-esque style dance moves)  
  
Tanti:  
  
OOOHHH!! Yea-ea-ea-eah!  
  
I luv you baby! Luv you!  
  
I luv you baby! Luv you!  
  
I luv u soooo much! I luv you baby!  
  
Every time, I see you walking down the street,  
  
My heart it nearly skips a beat!  
  
Hey yeah-eah  
  
Hey yeah- ea- eah  
  
Because you are my baby,  
  
My only baby  
  
And I love you!  
  
I love you!  
  
I love you –ou-ou-ou!  
  
OOOHHH!! Yea-ea-ea-eah!  
  
I luv you baby! Luv you!  
  
I luv you baby! Luv you!  
  
I luv u soooo much! I love you!  
  
My baby!  
  
We see each other so often,  
  
And you miss me all the time,  
  
I know you do,  
  
I know you do,  
  
I know you do,  
  
I luv you baby! Luv you!  
  
I luv you baby! Luv you!  
  
(And if anyone wants to hear how that song goes, I've got a recording of it in Chipmunk and me singing it so if you wanna hear it it'll be on my page soon, hopefully…. Or not, it's six megs, but IT'S MY SONG AND MY LYRICS SO STEAL IT AND YOU DIE!!!) (Cori – Or not….)  
  
CT – Wow… that was actually kinda good.  
  
Cori – Are you trying to say that you thought she was going to be bad?? How dare you!  
  
Tanti – You had no faith in me in the first place mate!  
  
Cori – CT! Stop making us say stupid Aussie phrases!  
  
CT – They're not stupid! Stupid!  
  
Cori – Don't call me stupid! Stupid!  
  
CT – Umoja!!!  
  
Cori – No!! Not the Umoja!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!  
  
CT – After the following break we will have our last guest who is sick of her name!  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen)  
  
(Enter Tugger)  
  
Tugger – Yo! It's me! And I'm here to advertise this new club I've joined! What happens in I stand up and say "hello! My name's Tugger!" and everyone else says: "Hello Tugger!" it's really a nice clu…. (Jenny runs onstage)  
  
Jenny – I'm the one who joined the club! Not him! They wouldn't let me do the commercial cause I can't heal myself!  
  
Audience – Eh?  
  
Tugger – She's right, she's the one who joined alcoholics anonymous.  
  
Jenny – (snidely) And what was it you have been doing in your spare time?  
  
Tugger – Nothing really.  
  
Jenny – Oooh…. Alonzo will be annoyed you said that.  
  
Tugger – Stop it!!  
  
Jenny – Oh Alonzo!!  
  
Tugger – Jenny!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!  
  
Alonzo – What? Hey Tug.  
  
Tugger – AhhH!! Jenny!!! How could you!!! I didn't tell Skimble about that date you had with Bustopher now that he's lost weight!!  
  
Jenny – (Eyes wide) Huh???  
  
Skimble – What's he talking abaht mah love?  
  
Jenny – Nothing!  
  
Skimble – It didna sound like nothing ta me!  
  
Alonzo – Jenny's in a 'mood'. I think that she's been having a go at the vodka.  
  
Tugger – Or something a little stronger. So much for this being an alcoholic's anonymous add huh?  
  
CT – I hate to break up your happy 'couples' but I have a show to do!!  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen)  
  
CT – Well, Tugger and Alonzo will have a bit of patching up to do after that little 'interlude'.  
  
Audience - *groan*  
  
CT – Well, here's our last guest. She says that she is sick and tired of being called the shortened version of her name as it is offensive to her. So here she comes.  
  
(Enter Jelly from the back door)  
  
Jelly – (Sits in a comfy armchair) Hello CT.  
  
CT – Hello, now Jelly…  
  
Jelly – NO!! That's the reason I hate my name! I am sick of being named after a wobbly desert!  
  
CT – Ah… right…. So ahh… what are you going to do about it?  
  
Jenny – There's this wonderful thing that you humans have called deed poll! I'm going to change my name through that. But I don't know what the best thing is to call myself.  
  
CT – Audience? Do you have any ideas?  
  
AM 1 – Whomple!  
  
AM 2 – Pickarack  
  
AM 3 – Doris Day!  
  
CT – Eh?  
  
AM 3 – She's my favourite actress.  
  
CT – Oh… okay then.  
  
Jelly – No! I don't like any of those!  
  
CT – How about Jo?  
  
Jelly – As much as I like Ms. Gibb and Ms. Bingham I do not wish to be named after them.  
  
CT – Er… Kaye?  
  
Jelly – Or the actress who plays Tantomile!  
  
CT – I got the perfect one! Susan!  
  
Jelly – Hmm… that is rather catchy…. Hmmm…. Okay then! I shall be from now on known as Susan!  
  
CT – Thank goodness we got that over with. Come back after this small break for the final mews!  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen)  
  
(Jemima is seen, no longer hyper in a kitchen)  
  
Jemima – Sick of being named after a wobbly desert? Well I have a range of names that are in tip top condition that can be used by anyone! All you have to do is call 1800-this-is-no-scam now!  
  
(The name: Chibi Teazer's New and Improved Chibi Teazer Show!!! Flashes across the screen)  
  
CT – Welcome to my final mews. Well, today we have been through a huge list of things. People wanting new names, cats changing personalities and more. But always remember that no matter who you are or where you are. You are special!  
  
Tugger – Munku! What the bloody hell have you done?!?!?  
  
Munku – I have decided to become a Munk (hah hah! Gettit?).  
  
Tugger – That was the saddest.  
  
Alonzo – (Coming up behind Tugger) I agree. (Putting a hand on his shoulder.)  
  
Tugger – Hey, at least he isn't in a skirt.  
  
Alonzo – But the shaved head fur. Was that absolutely necessary?  
  
(Both shrug and leave paw-in-paw)  
  
  
  
Yes, I'll probably get a heap of flames for that last part but it's just something that has been nagging at me ever since I read 'Orb my God' (which is on my webpage underneath the fanfics section at: www.geocities.com/chibi_teazer/) and got to the end of it. It is worth a read. But, for those of you who are going to leave mean reviews, can you please er.. not? :P….. *cough*  
  
For those of you who aren't sickened by my fics, you can find some at my webpage and some here at ff.net.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Umoja is actually the name of a stage show that was in the West End recently and is now in Australia. Here are some things my touch typing allowed me to capture from the ad:  
  
"The spirit of togetherness (The name)"  
  
"34 dances and singing"  
  
"Music and dance so powerful it will leave you breathless"  
  
"South Africa's musical sensation"  
  
I was writing this chapter whilst watching TV. (^.~) (It took me over five hours…. *groan*…. But I was doing other things at the same time) 


End file.
